It's been an age

I rarely feel like writing of late. Not that life has reached a standstill or is particularly calm, far from it to be honest. It is just too much to shift through the days and put it out there. 
The first academic year is nearly over for me. Doing rewrites, updating a portfolio and going on some trips for the course. Hard to fathom that I have reached this stage and very, very happy.
The first academic year is over for Princess Hannah who had a hard time and struggled. It was enough to make her want to give it all up and go down a new and different path altogether. Some time at home, some reflection, some distance and some decisions have brought her round to going back for year two, with changes.
Em awaits her results. What can I say? Her heart lies clearly on one choice although she is positive about her other options. I hope she makes it.
Adam leaves with us for Australia in a few weeks and will not return for about two years. Big J is spending as much time with his son as he can. He will be sorely missed.
My dear old dad is ill again and we wait for news of op dates, results, plans and how he and mum are doing.
A lot of the time I am tired, sad and anxious. However, there are good things, always there are good things.
Running! Couch to 5k, now in week 5 and loving it.
No alcohol for five months except on rare occasions (a trip to Tuscany was rare enough to have a glass or two). Part time work, money in the bank. Needed as we all head for Australia and things keep breaking down!
The dog, best running partner ever. She trots along with me at my pace then when it is done we head into the field for her to sniff out rabbits and squirrels....no luck yet! 
A little crochet for a new baby on the way and a completed blanket for Em to take to uni. The blanket is done...the border is not, yet. 
That's my life for the moment. 

D-Day

My latest placement is at a residential care home which has been great fun. The very elderly are a feisty, funny lot and wonderful to work with. It is a private home and has lovely touches like clean tablecloths and napkins in napkin rings at every meal. Fresh flowers on the tables. A tea trolley that seems to be in constant motion, cakes and bowls of fresh fruit. There are activities, outings, exercise and a very large beautiful garden. The carers CARE and the residents seem genuinely content.
Today while chatting with one of the men he told me about his war experiences and showed me some photos. He was among the first to land in one of these tanks. Fascinating and frightening too. I felt really privileged to hear his stories and frankly, a bit in awe.

 

Delete

I have just deleted 9 year's worth of emails. I was a digital hoarder of digital clutter....heard that on the radio today. Years of love, anger, funnies, photos, work, travel - all gone. It was very hard to do, but it was also hard having it all there. Time has passed, things said cannot be unsaid but feelings live on as do memories.
 

Poppies, parrots and blue finger nails

At the minute I am working with people with learning difficulties. Today some of us did photography in a local park. We found these, so like sea creatures up close:

and a few paces back:

I have not edited the colour on these photos in any way. Just love nature's colour scheme here. 
We looked for a tree full of parrots, but they were not at home...One day I will get a photo of the elusive green birds.
Then, in the afternoon, one of the young girls painted my finger nails turquoise. They look lovely!

A Black Dog lives here

Depression is hard to explain. It happens. Of late there have been some wonderful moments, some great experiences, some travel and photos to boot. When we got back on Thursday night the plan was to show you all.
But a cloud settled in and stayed. With it a headache that caused nausea. Today, another glorious spring one, I made myself attempt some gardening, it was short lived, but something. Then Em asked if I would ride the bike alongside her while she ran. Reluctantly I pumped up the tires and we set off. She ran a good 5+ miles before stopping and turning round. I barely spoke, but loved being out with my girl in the sun, the wind, the smell of spring.
Someone close posted this today on Facebook and it struck a chord and I thought it really shows what depression can be like for some. It is a WHO video  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XiCrniLQGYc

I have a black dog and he was running the show this weekend. Tomorrow I start work on a stroke ward, where there will be some very ill people. I don't want the dog to come with me.

I am very lucky that those near and dear just ignore that black dog until he clears off. I am very grateful too.



 

Poldark and handsome

BBC iPlayer is great. I have been catching up on the Poldark series. He is a bit too pretty and sculpted to have been a man of his era, but it is nice to watch. Pretty fields of flowers, pristine seascapes as well as some of the best bad teeth on an actor I have seen in a while!! What made it good tonight was I crocheted all the way through it.
Tomorrow it is back to the books and essays, but what a lovely evening.

 

Hooking holidays

This is Em's blanket that I made a couple of years ago, in my earlier crochet days. It has a narrow bottom end and a wide top! For some time there has been a desire to rectify it and this weekend I started. It is slowly becoming a neat ripple blanket...the frogging is a nightmare. Washes have lead to fibres becoming matted and catching. But it will be worth the effort in the end. Having something to crochet after so long is wonderful. I am changing the colours slightly, but attempting to use only yarn in the original and my stash. I will post a picture of the progress soon.

Other happy news is a new tiny laptop in ocean blue to do my uni work on. Loving it.