Marie Kondo - declutter Queen

Impressionable me has found another heroine in Marie Kondo the diminuitive Japanese tidying expert....author of this best seller. I am not going to buy it as there is a lot about her and her methods on the web. But I do like her approach, not the 'wake up the items' before deciding whether they 'spark joy' parts necessarily, but the rather blunt way she speaks in interviews about THINGS. One can be a dainty, wee Japanese girl with a feminine turn of phrase and still call the kettle black. The other thing she advocates is the letting go of items one has been given... and never use, never will and honestly are not to ones taste (that means you don't like it or them!)....
Coincidentally I found out about this lady when I was assembling my new study area.  Serendipity indeed. For about a week, anything not in or on the new desk was on a bed, in piles. But today more steps were taken to sort and cull much of the older paperwork. It is neatly filed, it is also visible, so I know what I have held onto so do not need to keep similar items, and, it is tidy.
I move slowly and have grand plans and many of them don't get off the ground, but somehow I feel more positive and confident about this method. 
I have also rather daringly purchased a large picture frame to paint and turn into a bulletin board.....mmmm....watch this space. Deffo a weekend job and maybe not until next weekend. This Saturday I am off to the Breast Clinic. There is not much space in my head right now to be creative! 

Happy Friday - Flat pack success!

 A good morning's work.

Now to tidy up the room and add things to the desk.....

The pleasing effect of snow

There is something special about waking up to see snow falling if you don't see it often, which we don't in the South East. I just love it. I love the fact that it muffles sound and can make even a landfill site look beautiful. Yes, it has its critics and there are dangers, but a snowy winter's day is something to behold. 

I took this shot this morning on my way to London. 

Broken hearts and babies

One of the hardest things for me being a mum has been talking to Han - a very upset Han this week, about splitting up with her first real love. She is so far away and so sad, he is sad and it breaks my heart that no-one can do anything to reduce the hurt they both feel. 

I have enjoyed the clinics and visits so far this week and participated in a meeting about a Gypsy Traveller Project which was fascinating. 

The area I am in is so multicultural and it is a real priviledge to be invited into so many homes in my mere student capacity to talk about very personal issues. 

And I confess, all those tiny babies are just gorgeous!!!

Cluck, cluck. 

And breathe

The air has been cleared a little. Growing kids is hard and it is especially hard when they are literally on the branch about to take flight into their own lives. Will they be ok? Will they cope? Have I done enough? When the black clouds descend will they have enough reserves to see it through?  I like to think, yes to all the questions and if not, then they just have to call home. And if a nagging is in order, they might just get one!

Off my butt and off the blog

The morning has just about gone and I am still in pjs Juno is edging around the room with the sun for maximum warmth/snooze time. There are a million things to do, especially STUDY and housework. Celia B's bunny needs another ear and his legs stitched on.
I am not sure what to do about the blog. Been on a bit of a low for a while now, frustrating when I am getting to do what I want. Can't throw the mood for long and it hits at the most unsuitable times. Like when all is good and the sun is shining. Then a big stinky black cloud settles all around me and makes it hard to enjoy life. 
I am not prepared to up the meds, I think the answer is in health and well being. So, I am not drinking and loving it. I am getting loads of exercise. On the ward, zumba and walking. I am eating less, not always the best of things, but less all round. 
There are essays due and an exam in four weeks. I think I am going to have to accept that apart from not affording the time, there is not really enough going on to blog about for now. I am realistic enough to know that my readership is small, (but lovely....) and will be fine if there are no entries or fewer for a while.
So have a good festive season dear ones who read this that I know. And the same to anyone else that pops in. 
I'll be back xxx

Another little cull

Another one for the Charity Shop

Today has been slow, but productive. Tough too. I parted with some ancient items of clothing, one a coat that I bought just after Em was born.....about 18 years ago. I loved it. An elegant swing coat, in wool with deep, deep patch pockets and I wore it until about 4 years ago. I still got comments then on how nice it is, but it drowns me a bit now and just does not fit in with my current needs. 

So it went. As did other clothes, even some I had earmarked for ebay....just not enough time and I am fed up with the guilt of seeing the bags of stuff lying around that have to be listed. One or two have been kept, but most have gone. 

Some forgotten items from a life and country long over, dust covered on top of a wardrobe have gone too.

One or two things that I thought would look nice in our new home - before we left Hong Kong - but that never made it out of the bag. All gone.

The load is lighter. 

Tomorrow we get new windows at the front of the house. The current ones have blown and this should insulate us better this winter. We have had the heating on about 4 times this season. Em and I rug up when we are here on our own. It seems a lot to heat a 4 bedroom house when there are two of us rattling around. (Big J is in Kenya...as I write).

Off to walk the dog...such a lovely afternoon. 

A Wet Wednesday morning with a Warm Dog on my lap

I have been reading all the blogs I follow and thinking of how mine has changed of late. It is still a record of life, but a different life.
Mainly because all yarn related activity has taken a mahoosive back seat and in one tiny way I am fretting. Not because I miss it (which I do) but because I have a deadline to make a bunny for Celia B for Christmas and it is looming. I keep looking for a block of time where I can JUST DO IT like the ad says. I have one pinpointed next, next week! 
I tend to spend free time on house things, dog things and when that is done, a quick flick through the anatomy and physiology stuff that I must know like the back of my hand. 
I do tend to procrastinate horribly on everything though and then feel bad and beat myself up. That must stop and I am working on it. (Blogging is not procrastinating...)
Today it is pouring. I have the lacrosse lot for dinner tonight, that makes me happy. 
I am going to pop out and get some new nursy shoes. My feet hurt. My current shoes are lovely and comfy, but my feet still hurt. I will use my student card to get a discount and when I have two pairs will alternate them. 
Once that is done I plan to put in some time swatting, to move slowly, to enjoy my solitude and then my mum job of driving folk around. 

A little more light

This week the roof on the conservatory was replaced. It went from a striped glass moss covered thing to something of wonder and light. Blue glass apparently. Keeps things warm in winter and cooler in summer. 

Note plane trail. We are near Gatwick...
We piled all the things back into it today and it was such a quick and easy task because NON of the cluttery bits have made their way back in and it still - weeks later looks serene and welcoming. How I love it. 

This week has been a crash course on life, living and dying and on humility and compassion. Three long, long shifts (to me) showed me how much our NHS staff put into caring. The press does so many a rude injustice by highlighting the (few) really rotten people. They do need to stopped and dealth with, but it is easy to tar everyone with the same brush.

It took me the full three days to comprehend that those with advanced dementia and Alzheimer's cannot be reached most of the time. They can be very articulate and lucid, althought that ludicity applies in a space or time they once lived or experienced and not now. 

Most people want to be at home with familiar people and families, if they remember them, but many have no idea where they are or who we are. However, they all need to be cared for, treated, fed, bathed and toileted and it brought me almost to tears at one point to see how each person was responded to, no matter how many times they called for help, how many times they repeated themselves, refused to eat, got cross, shouted and even cried. 

Those who could not call out were watched and checked. No one was left uncomfortable. 

The colleagues who looked after me were amazing, hard mind! They worked me, physically and mentally. No excuses, I need to know it and know it all before qualifying and day one is the best place to start. 

When I got home last night I was shattered. One glass of wine in front of the TV with Big J and I was a gonner. Bed at 9:30.

There were moments when I felt completely out of my depth and thought it was all a big mistake and moments when I thought 'is this really me doing this work?' All the weeks of anatomy and physiology which have not sunk in yet are essential and what a motivation to get down to some swotting. 

Five more weeks on this placement and I plan to make the most of it. 

A natural sloth

As a natural sloth, I am fascinated by such television gems as 'hoarders anonymous' and fastidious cleaning shows where someone with an obsessive cleaning streak gets to meet a natural sloth and clean their house.....and to declutter it and streamline it and make it all lovely and that person will live happily ever after!

And for some reason that end bit, which is nothing to do with the show, is how it works in my head!!  If my house was clean, tidy, clutter free, I would be HAPPY and so would my family and life would be smooth and efficient and productive. 

So I bought a steam cleaner, to help acheive this blissful state, and do you know, it is quite the thing.
I have steamed loos, bathrooms, carpets, floors, furnishings, windows and even the wrinkly bits on one of Big J's suits. The most fantastic acheivement with the thing is a sparkling oven, I mean there is not a dot of grease in there....The dog loves it but keeps trying to bite the steam which makes operating it risky near a hyperactive Jack Russell. 
It is brilliant not to have to use loads of chemicals, although I cannot part with my bucket of hot water and bleach...that's my Irish, former nurse, mother in me....
Today the conservatory fell victim to it and right now that room is a zone of zen like serenity. 

The cushion covers are in the wash, the hydrangeas in the basket are from the garden. Where the flowers have been exposed to light they are purple and the underside is green, lovely. In the corner you might be able to see a fish bowl. This contains my growing collection of seaglass from around the world. Any beach I go to, I try to find a piece to bring home. The whole room smells of lavender, from the garden. 
I am HAPPY. But must confess, that two years' copies of Mollie Makes, my yarn basket(s) and one or two other items have been banished to the garage.....yes, not really dealing with the situation, but at least I feel good. They will be restored to their place in due course, but right now it is about enjoying the clutter free moment. x

Bondi Harvest

Rose introduced me to this site when she was here from Sydney and I love it: BONDI HARVEST 
Such a low key, fuss free approach to cooking great meals. At the moment the apple custard cake in the link above is in the oven....Really happy that I got to use up all the apples Celia B gave me from her garden before they went brown and mushy.

Tomorrow, we take Hannah north. We are both a bit odd and weepy. I will miss her so much as will her little sister, Big J and the pets....

when admin becomes red tape

Today I am assembling the many documents I need for a bursary application. My birth certificate,  my Japanese family register, which includes all the details of my marriage, divorce and the births of the girls and its English translation. My passport. All sorts of bits from Big J about his earnings. These all need to be copied and sent off with a stamped addressed envelope and a letter of explanation. Both of us expect there to be questions asked. It is never straightforward with a family like ours.....I have a real dread of this sort of thing and probably do myself no favours by assuming that it will all go wrong!

The good news is that after one final dash to Hampshire yesterday to see old friends I am able to slob around in my old jeans, holey t-shirt and holey sneakers and just enjoy being at home.

At some point the photos will be added and some of the news from Oz.

Blah!

I am finding being jobless really disconcerting. For so long now I have been run off my feet, on call all day to a huge number of people, both staff and patients and have had to make decisions and plans and negotiate and placate. I loved it, most of the time, but the thought of being at home for a while was just bliss. And now I find I am flat, down even. I have not 'done' much, which is a biggie for me. I have worked one day this week, been around for the plumber, dog walked, crocheted, washed and ironed, cleaned, been out for coffee and lunch and had a friend and her son over twice, once for dinner, complete with a fire and marshmallows afterwards in the garden. Em and I have done a nature ramble and today I cleared out my wardrobe and took a ton of things to the charity shop. I was ruthless, and am a wee bit scared to think that not much is left in there!

I ran it by my sister and another friend about how odd it feels and they both told me it takes time to adjust to a different pace and to establish a routine. A massage was suggested and that I will arrange as Big J bought me one a while ago which has yet to be used. 

In the meantime, the bedroom needs a last little tidy. At least there is something to show for all the time off. 

And while I sit and listen to the very welcome rain, Tom's blanket is calling from the corner of the room saying 'finish me, you've only got 2 weeks to go' ....

Man at work

We are having our leaky shower fixed and a new loo put in. The cistern on the old one is hanging by a thread and it is a dodgy old thing. I whizzed over to Homebase this morning and managed to get the loo for half price and tiles for the floor greatly reduced and doubled my nectar points as well - so felt good. 

The banging is a pain but it will be worth it.

Last night was Book Club where we drank talked a lot, even occasionally about the book, which was The Secret Life of Bees by Sue Monk Kidd. Lovely story. 

Today I am in Limbo a bit. I want to blitz but the stairs and landing are covered in dust sheets and I am keeping away from upstairs completely. 

I have been looking at holidays for Big J and me, some blogs, been doing bursary applications and chasing HR about working some hours as a health care assistant, have planted up some of my lovely new geraniums at the front door, been blood pressured and pee tested (all good), and managed finally to get a photo of Hannah's blanket out on the patio....

Loving the border. This was another clever idea from Lucy at Attic24. 

The colours are still too pale for me but it feels awesome, soft but heavy at the same time. Should keep her warm up north! 
I think some crochet time is called for. I want to make a Mandala for Yarndale and mine is going to be AUSTRALIA inspired, I want it to be called The Red Centre. 

Job(s) done

The room has been stripped of many of the knick knacks and trinkets of Adam's time here. None of it has been thrown out. It is all in a box for him. Two more shelves to go and it is done. The bed is falling apart but the mattress is very good, so out with the divan and in with an internet sourced bed frame with cashback and free delivery at more that HALF the price I would pay for the ones I priced locally. Sadly our local ebay and for sale mag has not produced a bed for me to even ring up about let alone buy. But I do want a wooden framed one.
I also did the test and it was not brill. Not terrible but not brill. Never fear, there is always another test!

we all need a FQ style kick up the butt from time to time

Like many of you, I read Frugal Queen's blog ALL the time and am wowed. But this morning I read this one.......... and thought how apt. How true, how REAL. How is it that I can drift along wishing for things to be different when I don't DO ANYTHING about them?

It was never meant to be easy. I am finding the study a challenge. My lovely, lovely girls are having tough times. They need me and to know that they have it in themselves to get through it. This house pees me off big time and the only one who can change that it ME. I have been battling a slow increase in weight for years despite my gym going and dog walking and finally after some EFFORT to eat less and move around more it is coming off. But it is not easy. I have also been saving. Little bits here and there from my leftover pay packet. I hate not saving. I was always so good at it. Now there is no excuse. I might not be working in less than a year if I do go to uni. Time to knuckle down and be sensible.

I have been to town today to spend time with the lovely Cliona B and we charity shopped. A cardi for me, £4.50....would have been £40.00 new.  We had a coffee, and I am home and I am about to finish my first exam for the course. It is far harder than I thought it would be, at least the exam questions are!! But I am going to do it, then I am going to start gutting Adam's room. We have a Japanese kid from the girls' old school coming to stay and he will sleep in there. It is time I realised that I hold the key to how my life will pan out and it is time I got off my butt.

April already

Here are the little kokeshi made for a raffle for a fund raising friend. They stand up but in order to get them in any decent sort of light, they had to loll drunkenly on the window ledge! The little pale blue is the one that was bought by a friend whose daughter was expecting.

Remiss I have been at posting, but it is not easy to do so if one is not in good spirits. Australia was awesome, but this weekend brought a rare bout of homesickness. (Bearing in mind I have not LIVED there since my twenties - it is rare that it gets bad, but it did this week). It was probably to do with distance and lack of seeing my family and of course the wonderful sun. It is true that the sun makes one feel better.

But, Big J and I ventured out in the icy cold to Hastings one day over the holiday and went to the Jerwood Gallery. We loved it, small and beautifully laid out, it has some pretty impressive works in it. We pottered onto the beach where the snow came blowing in, so the remedy was a plate of hot fish and chips.....

I have not touched my crochet hook since getting back and feel a bit stalled. The project I started when I was at home, all from my head has taken shape nicely, but the motivation to go on has gone, for now.

Mojos return and mine will. No point in pushing it. Em and I are off to Belgium on Friday and the crochet will come too. Some quiet evenings in the country might help focus my mind a bit....






 

Back from the Outback

Friendly people, I am home in wet and snowy England after two special weeks with loved ones on the other side of the globe.
In 14 days I flew in and out of Hong Kong with an 18 hour stop over to spend time with bro, sis-in-law and the lovely Ava Eloise, then on to Sydney for a weekend with Artist Sister and her partner.
A whole week in the Sunshine State with my parents, back to Sydney for two nights and one day and then the long trek home.
It was just lovely seeing everyone and being in Australia. How I love the place. How hard it is to come away.
It is good to have learned that that long trip is totally do-able in two weeks. So the plan is to do it again - one day.

I took loads of photos and did a lot, including some pretty nifty crochet, so will put a few pics up to share with you all the beauty of the places I saw.


 

Lurching

I seem to be lurching through the days at present. The new job is busy and quite a challenge. I have been having the horrible old crocodile dreams, always a sign that my head is full of stuff and some of it is not easy to process.

My laptop is in the repair shop getting a new keyboard as someone left it open on the kitchen table - just after the cookie theiving incident, and 17 keys were chewed off it.

In two weeks I fly to Australia to see my parents, sister and en route my brother and his family. I think I am a little nervous as well as being excited. Seeing them all is lovely. Leaving them all is very hard, especially as my parents are getting older. They all seem too far away.

Today is a domestic goddess day. Ironing well underway. Gym at lunch time and my little charity crochet project to work on.  Photos of this will be up soon.

It will be good to get my laptop back. Nothing seems quite right without instant access to the world and other people's keyboards don't feel like mine!!



 

A little bit of love

A friend gave me a big bag of tapestry wool and some of the skeins have been cut - which makes crochet tricky in that there are lots of joined bits, but I managed to make this little heart. Lucy at Attic24 had it on her blog, with a link to the designer. I have just had a laugh at how finished and professional Lucy's looks and how beaten up mine is........But beauty is in the eye of the beholder and I was happy to give it away today to a lovely friend in the office. What is more, someone else wants one AND, I have been asked to make some of my little Japanese dollies as well for a charity fund raiser. Woopee.

 

But before I get carried away and abandon family, home and hearth to crochet with a goal, there are other things to be done.

 

At the quilt fair, some of the fabric was very, very appealing. I was so tempted, but the only things that made it home with me were some quilting betweens (needles) with large eyes, so that I can thread them without cursing too much. I have a plan to work on an old project and have pledged NOT to buy more fabric/yarn until some of the WIPs have been dealt with.

 

Off to do some chores....ironing in front of the TV. Miranda is on tonight. Such fun. x