An end and a beginning

Today I did my last secretary day at the hospital for the forseeable future. I was not sad about that, only sad to leave my mad and funny friends. An ending. 

I then went to an open evening at the uni...it still only took 54 minutes to get there, but that is mid afternoon, what about mornings?

I had questions but got no answers other than the advice to turn up on the day and take it from there. Part of me loved that. Part of me worried there was no list to check off, equipment to buy, etc. But that is the way it is for now. I met a fellow student, as young as she could be to as old as I am. I liked it. It was a beginning, of sorts. 

Over the next few days I need to think about my parents, my Artist Sister, my niece and nephew and their lovely mum, my estranged sister, who has written again. It is a bit like catching a bird....I am keen to write back straight away, but think that if I give a slower, more considered and less emotive response it will be received better. 
I love to travel but I hate to leave my girls. I suffer from separation anxiety, big time. They know it, Big J knows it, but it does not make it easier. I do understand in my head now, (although not my heart) that people come and go and sometimes they go and do not return. That is not what I am planning, but by accepting it, it might make my own departure less anxious. A less anxious mum does less damage to her loved ones. 
What anxieties do you have regarding your loved ones?

The week that was

It has been quite a week. 

My sister, the one that does not contact me, emailed me about my upcoming trip home asking if I would like to see her. YES I WOULD. VERY MUCH. The dates did not work out, but she said she would probably see me next year - at Dad's 80th birthday event. There was no news exchanged, in fact it was a very economical communication, but it was contact and I was very happy. 

We have walked in Ashdown Forest twice. One walk was with the family (minus Han who is still in Japan) and a new friend on a sunny afternoon. It was lovely.

We did not see the much talked about bird visitor, the short toed eagle, which fortunately eats snakes and not little dogs!

A dear friend is troubled again with her addiction and I know that until someone in that position accepts that there is a problem then nothing can be done, but she risks losing so much. This time there was some tough love. 

I worked for one day and feel the pull less. One more shift before I go off to Australia. 

On Sunday after my last blog post I pulled out Tom's blanket, took a photo of it

and decided to start all over again. This one feels right, the colours are right, the yarn is right and the stitch is too. (I am reusing two of the colours of the first blanket and a heap of green from my stash).  

I did however have some real hiccups with the pattern this time but managed to come up with a way to reduce the tension in the foundation row that prevents a warped fabric later on. I had to do it three times, but I did the foundation row in a 5mm hook even though the rest of the blanket is being done on a four. It gave enough slackness to start off as I kept finding the tension of the actual blanket looser than the first row. 

It was volunteer week at school and Em and her friends had struggled to find work so ended up at lower school for four days. Friday was a day off and they went to Devil's Dyke to draw and walk. Big J and I headed for Brighton. 

We went swimimng at Brighton Beach, a first for me.

Talk about a day beside the sea! It was sunny, there were deck chairs and sea gulls, we had our towels and my hat, we went right in and it was lovely. The sky was bright, bright blue and there was something about it being a Friday in term time that made it feel almost like we were skiving off!  It was also Independence Day and we had a meal at an American restaurant and then found free table tennis tables - with bats and balls for all to use and worked up a sweat and worked off our lunch. 

Machine People launched their new video on 4th as well. Go guys. 

Another farewell for a friend heading to Indonesia on Friday night, but I was worn out by then. Too much fun in the sun! Today I could barely summon the energey to crochet let alone manage chores! But to be fair, after slobbing about most of the day, I did plant out some tomatoes (lots of babies already) and did some weeding and other planting. The grunt work of gardening is something I love. 

Blah!

I am finding being jobless really disconcerting. For so long now I have been run off my feet, on call all day to a huge number of people, both staff and patients and have had to make decisions and plans and negotiate and placate. I loved it, most of the time, but the thought of being at home for a while was just bliss. And now I find I am flat, down even. I have not 'done' much, which is a biggie for me. I have worked one day this week, been around for the plumber, dog walked, crocheted, washed and ironed, cleaned, been out for coffee and lunch and had a friend and her son over twice, once for dinner, complete with a fire and marshmallows afterwards in the garden. Em and I have done a nature ramble and today I cleared out my wardrobe and took a ton of things to the charity shop. I was ruthless, and am a wee bit scared to think that not much is left in there!

I ran it by my sister and another friend about how odd it feels and they both told me it takes time to adjust to a different pace and to establish a routine. A massage was suggested and that I will arrange as Big J bought me one a while ago which has yet to be used. 

In the meantime, the bedroom needs a last little tidy. At least there is something to show for all the time off. 

And while I sit and listen to the very welcome rain, Tom's blanket is calling from the corner of the room saying 'finish me, you've only got 2 weeks to go' ....

Yarndale Mandala

This is my mandala for Yarndale....Australia, the red centre, the oranges and pinks of the desert, the yellows of the wheat crops, the pale greens of suburbia, the dark greens of the rain forest, the white of the surf, the deep blue of the sea and the light bright blue of the sky.
To be glued and stiffened in the morning before being sent off to Yorkshire. 

Man at work

We are having our leaky shower fixed and a new loo put in. The cistern on the old one is hanging by a thread and it is a dodgy old thing. I whizzed over to Homebase this morning and managed to get the loo for half price and tiles for the floor greatly reduced and doubled my nectar points as well - so felt good. 

The banging is a pain but it will be worth it.

Last night was Book Club where we drank talked a lot, even occasionally about the book, which was The Secret Life of Bees by Sue Monk Kidd. Lovely story. 

Today I am in Limbo a bit. I want to blitz but the stairs and landing are covered in dust sheets and I am keeping away from upstairs completely. 

I have been looking at holidays for Big J and me, some blogs, been doing bursary applications and chasing HR about working some hours as a health care assistant, have planted up some of my lovely new geraniums at the front door, been blood pressured and pee tested (all good), and managed finally to get a photo of Hannah's blanket out on the patio....

Loving the border. This was another clever idea from Lucy at Attic24. 

The colours are still too pale for me but it feels awesome, soft but heavy at the same time. Should keep her warm up north! 
I think some crochet time is called for. I want to make a Mandala for Yarndale and mine is going to be AUSTRALIA inspired, I want it to be called The Red Centre. 

Pussy Cat Ta Dah, two departures and The Band

The post I wrote up last night has gone awol. Annoying because it took time and I was loving the moment of recapturing all that happened yesterday.

Still for any readers it is probably a blessing as this version is likely to be shorter!!

We had two departures yesterday. One in the morning from Heathrow which meant an early start. Hannah flew to Japan for a month. As I leave for Oz before she comes back we will not see each other until August. This is the longest time apart we have had, and they will just keep getting longer. It makes me so sad, but it is all about new steps in her life. 
Big J then flew to South Africa for a week on business. That leaves Em and I at home alone with Juno and Bosley. We plan a healthy eating week with some exercise and in fact I am having a detox tea for breaky instead of my usual fluffy coffee....mmmmm..not quite the same!

After a late gig on Saturday night two of the band camped here as logistics dictated it was more sensible than driving home to have to return for a local gig tomorrow. They did not go to bed all night and sat like two owls in the conservatory - wide eyed and unbeknownst to me, very drunk. They 'found' a bottle of something and drank it. Like you do....refusing all offers of food and coffee at breakfast they did eventually pass out only to be woken later with some loud death metal by the remaining sober band members who turned up to make sure all was well. Lovely. I could not let them leave home in that state so threw together a massive dish of vegetable pasta bake, garlic bread and some jalepeno and cheese ciabatta we had. It worked, they perked up no end. 
I get the band thing, I really do. I have seen them play many times and watched them morph from youths with passion to young men with passion about their music.  But when they are off the stage and at home, it means more to me. They hang out with the dog, talk to the girls and are great fun. One was telling me about a reccent to trip to Oz and I asked him what he was doing out there. He told me his uncle's band was playing in Sydney and Perth so he went along.....his uncle is in Simple Minds....I knew that!! 

In the midst of all this there was ironing done, a trip to a boot fair and some more crochet time.
This is Rosie - my take on the wonderful tutorial by Janette at The Green Dragonfly. The tutorial is excellent and most of Rosie took shape on the trip to Yorkshire. I love to crochet in the car when I it's not my turn to drive on the motorway! 

I do not have Janette's gift for embellishing and my embroidery skills are rubbish so after hacking off the insipid nose I first made, this is the new version which is pretty pleasing. I made a magic ring and did three double crochet into it before pulling it closed then using the starting and finishing yarns for her mouth. I have made (not finished)  three little kittens for Rosie to mother and they are all going with me to Australia for my niece, Ava. Pics to follow. 

A version of this has taken shape too. Herdy. It is a fat blue lamb for Thomas, my nephew. I do feel a bit like it is cheating to make something so similar, is it? You can judge for yourselves when he gets his legs....

Le Tour, le road trip

We dropped Em off at Keele uni on Monday and headed to YORKSHIRE and guess what?  There's going to be a bike race in fact it is Le Tour....The whole place is streaming with yellow, green and red polka dot bunting, little knitted jersey bunting and yellow bicycles.

There was even a spotty pub and this pretty non Le Tour, but sweet anyway, bike in Haworth.

It was fantastic. The work and effort that has gone into preparing for this huge international race by local communities is wonderful. Our route took us along the planned Tour roads, unwittingly, but we were delighted.
We had two nights in York. A first for me. Loved it. The Minster, the Shambles, the Yarn Shop, the Cocoa House, so much to see and do. We walked miles. We also went on a ghost hunt...
We went to Scarborough too and had fish and chips and walked on the north beach. There are so many beach huts.

We then headed for the moors, and to Bolton Abbey where we stayed another night. The countryside is breathtaking, so much so we just stopped at the side of the road at one point to take it all in. No photo can capture the image the way we see it with the naked eye. It is more than sight, it is the wind, the sun, the sheep bleating all the senses really.

We chatted to the sheep, both trying out baaaas and bleats.....this one obviously understood! I think I speak sheep better than Big J does!
We stayed in a nice place. A very nice place. It had TWO helipads and this sign....LOL.

I usually don't eat anything with sugar in it (that I am aware of and I am selective) but we went here:

Bullets where I come from, but apparently Torpedoes here. Anyway, there are none left now!

It was great. And what ended it so perfectly was that Em loved her course and made new friends and came back exhausted.