Is is worth it? Soul searching on a Sunday morning

Over the last few days I have had my sister and her partner (sadly him for only one night) to stay. After B left, Jani and I had a day in Lewes and then an afternoon in London. We walked miles we talked non stop and we looked at art, antiques, charity shops, parrots (my girls have a favourite West African Grey in a pet shop in Lewes that we always visit)

books, polish pottery, exhibitions and were both dazzled and drained by the visual overload. We spent time in the V&A so that she could do some research and happily for me we were pointed in the direction of the British Galleries, and to The Arts and Crafts Movement displays. My sister is an artist. At one point I would have said a landscape painter, but her work has evolved and she draws and knits paper and canvas strips. She is on a pathway. I admire her strength and perserverence because it is not easy and she has said that at times she wonders if it is really worth it. I say yes! But then I am a huge admirer of her passion and drive while at the same time feeling so void of any of my own. My small bursts of creativity feel limited to me. I constantly feel as if there is more potentail only that I cannot see it or how to tap into it.
The fact is that I love to crochet, but I do not talk to people about it, except here in blogland, and let's face it, have not produced much!! I am frustrated by the desire to be making something all the time, while not knowing what to do.
Now that Ava has her blanket and her blue dog

I am in limbo. More than just hook and yarn limbo. Blog limbo too. I think I need to sit down and figure out what is next.