CAMPER VAN BEETHOVEN

http://campervanbeethoven.com/fr_home.cfm

are playing at the Haunt in Brighton on 31 May....and the support band is Machine People

Go Adam. The gig is nearly sold out. 

 

What, still no crochet?

Really missing the whole hooky thing, but can't reach for it just yet. It does not help that my lovely cushioned handled 3.5mm hook was found with little chew marks in some small dog's bed recently. That grip will never be the same!

But other very good things have happened to someone very near and it has been such a boost to the spirits today. Someone I love dearly has let me know that in their senior years they decided to have a chat to their doc about something that had bothered them for a long time, since their youth in fact. They felt that now, we are much more open about issues and they had long suspected that things were not quite right. It turns out that they did need a little help and from family history it became clear that depression was an illness present in a number of the members. One sadly, even took their own life. That person is now stronger and happier with treatment and all around them say the change is palpable. How very brave and how much braver still to tell your own daughter. 

I have my demons too and have been dealing with them actively for some years now. It has never been a secret in my generation but it is something for the older generation to reach out. Odd how the knowledge makes sense of so much and a relief in a way as well,  but the best thing is that the suffering has been reduced. 

mid life crisis

Suddenly our street has a rash of new cars. A BMW next door, a Mercedes in one forecourt and a Porsche in another. Our old beast got us to France and back last week and then promptly called in sick. Many hundreds of pounds later it is ready to be collected and brought home tomorrow. I have always thought that cars were a thing of the male mid life crisis and given the age of the men who have these new cars in our street, it stands to reason. But what do women do?

How about a radical career change and heading back to university....?  Is it time to answer that call? Lots of thinking, asking, researching going on.

Slow roast

Up with the birds 'redding up' as my mother calls it. Guests tonight for a slow roast beef a la River Cottage..... Lovely chat with long lost cousin and brunch pencilled in for next Sunday. The house smells of beeswax furniture polish - delightful and fresh.

I had a long talk to my mother this morning, a real talk. She lives so far away, and with my dad having treatment for bladder cancer, one tends to avoid anything serious. She was wonderful. It did me the world of good.

On with the work now....six for dinner and one brand new vegetarian!

Grubbing

Some soul soothing grubbing in the dirt today. Lots of seeds experimented with, shiso, mizuna, daikon, basil, lettuce, and rocket. Small quantities of each and some are old, so the success rate may be low.

Hannah and I walked Juno across town to see Celia B and hubby. Juno still pulls and chokes on her lead a lot of the time, but we have some lovely moments when she trots alongside very nicely.

We saw The Great Gatsby this evening and it was spectacular but it felt as if the story had been padded out. Great music.

The sun has been shining and things are better when the sun shines.

Tough one

This is a tough one to write. It is like when you mean to catch up with someone, you promise to do it, and time keeps slipping away. Then you hit that awkward point where it is almost too late to get back in touch because it looks like you've not really been too bothered all along, so it can all sound insincere and not just a little sheepish. But this is where I am with my blog. Not wanting to abandon it, but feeling like letting go!

A few things have caused some deep thought on what it means to me and how I want it to be. It began as a report on life in the UK, then started morphing into a record plus a sort of  attempt at being more expressive through crochet/making. In behind the scenes, like most of us, if we are honest, life in all its messy big fat hairy way was going on non too smoothly. Big J and I have been having a very rough time, we have reached some spectacular lows. But what to do? Abandon us or keep at it? It is clear as I write that it is worth the effort, only for all of us, it takes up so much energy.

In the meantime, blogging and crafting sort of lost their breath and lagged along the way. Now I think that it is not going work for me to blog as if things are fine, but the blog is not a space to dump either, some things are not for world to see. It just needs to be my blog, about my life really and just a bit more honest.

I think I wanted a blog that had loads of followers, but now, love the ones I have, don't get me wrong, it is not about recognition and comments.

So friendly folk, it is gonna get duller around here. Thanks for popping in. x