Tuesday, 16 September 2014

Dropping balls

It has been a teary morning. I cannot reach my youngest. She told me before school that she hates her main A level subject but that she has no other options and then she just fell apart. There are always options I said, and suggested a call to the school, who are very supportive. Under no circumstances were the school to be contacted and she no longer wished to discuss it with me. She has taken the day off and is in her room. I feel helpless, worried, profoundly sad and even a little scared. Like most mums I want her to be ok, not deliriously happy, not have a perfect life, but to be content and feel safe and confident and to know that so many people want to help if she wants it. Or just to listen. She tells me I am crap at listening, fair point, but I have taken that on board. I do not tell my children what to do, I have always encouraged them to talk about and do what they want (we are talking academic choices, hobbies, faith etc here, I do tell them to do jobs around the house.) and that having a go at something, even if it does not work out or is not for them is better than not trying. They cannot FAIL they can only learn from the effort. 
I am not sure where we go from here, but all I want is a happy girl. 


Jay said...

Oh Liz I really feel for you. Has she just started A levels? (I probably should know but I'm so behind on blog news) I remember the first half term being really tough for our boy , he nearly gave up it was so much harder than gcses . If she's able to stick with it we found it started to turn around by January . But if she doesn't want to stick with it, that's fine too - she maybe just needs a bit of time to herself . Sending hugs to you x

Liz said...

Thank you Jay, so kind of you and very, very reassuring. We are seeing the school this week and all the uni open days we had planned may change. Happy to change anything if we can help her. All this decision making at their age is just awful.

Jay said...

I know! They're too young to make such big decisions - but then someone said to me, are they really such important decisions? We get too wrapped up in exam results (I'm very guilty of that) and yet a huge proportion of the successful people I know (I count being happy as successful)didn't stay on for A levels and many don't have GCSE's either.
I would imagine that this early in the course she could maybe switch some subjects?
I know you'll be supporting her whatever the outcome.
If you want to talk more, email me anytime. Take care x