Saturday, 21 June 2008

Navel gazing

Three years ago, I was in Japan, working in teaching and on cable radio, and here I am now in a very wet, very old, West Sussex town typing letters and answering the phone! The steps and choices that brought me here were all taken and made with open eyes and when I look at the children and how well they have all adapted to the new family combination, it makes me glow with pride and happiness.
However, this week, one of my colleagues pointed out that administration skills are something I seem to struggle with, not only that, she has a memory like a steel trap and I am still floundering in regard to all the minutiae of the job. It struck a chord. I have never had to administer, other than my own schedule and finances in any job I have done to date. While I enjoy the variety in this work, part of me feels puzzled that it is me doing it. I rarely speak Japanese now and fear losing it, although we watch the news and other media daily. Somehow, (navel gazing bit) I have become a different, maybe less accomplished version of myself in order to fit in here. I feel dumbed down. Again, though, my choice and it is proving to be a wily one as there is a lot of flexibility in the work time wise.
Before this gets out of hand, the point is, it just doesn't seem to gel, yet!
John is with me on this too, from inward investment in one of the most dynamic economies in the world to hot desking and short term projects in London...we are in a bit of a pickle!

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