Thursday, 15 January 2015

Blowing up

I am really cross and maybe this is not the place to rant, but rant I will so switch off if you don't like it.

The current stormy weather caused havoc on the roads today. It took 2 hours and 10 minutes to get to the hospital. Most of that time I was sitting on a narrow B road waiting my turn to ford a humungous flooded area. There was no room to turn around, and those who had tried to cross the water and failed had squeezed their vehicles onto the sliver of an embankment, hazard lights ablaze, and were standing in the dark on their mobile phones summoning help. Not sensible, they might have been hit by a car. Had I been in the Micra it would have been certain disaster, but I had the big car and it got to the point where there was only one way to go and that was forward. Jaw clenched, shoulders pinched and with bloody good timing I made it....only because two big trucks went through one after the other displacing some of the water. Still I was thrilled and just a bit proud of the driving....For those wondering why I did not avoid it in the first place the answer is simple. I thought of all the routes it was the one LEAST likely to be disrupted by debris, trees even, surface water etc and I even checked the BBC travel sight and not a mention of it.

So long start to the day, but work was buzzing and interesting and it only took 90 minutes to get home. But here is the rub. I am not the only one that lives in this house, currently only Em is here. But day after day I come home to a mess, (some of which I create, I admit) nothing to eat - unless I do it myself and I find I do what I can before falling into bed and repeating the same thing the next day. 

I get home to be told how tired everyone is, that there is hardly any loo roll left and am asked if the pets were fed in the morning. 

Today I blew at the only other person here, which is not entirely fair, but I feel so bloody undervalued. Yes, there is a ton of ironing, yes, the house could do with more of the blitzing that took place early this week, the bins need emptying regularly and all the rest. 

I seriously want to live alone at times. 

Big J is coming home tomorrow morning and every time he goes away before he arrives back I feel the need to plump cushions and clean and fuss as if he were a bloody visitor. (My Irish mother influences that.....she even cleaned out her cupboards before people came over...). I just want to yell. I am doing a DEGREE, I am working full time hours, running a home, dealing with kids who have issues/needs. I have bloody issues and needs. 

I am so cross and frustrated.

Something has to give. 







2 comments:

Frugal Queen said...

Life can be so bloody tough at times. Soon the daylight will return and make our lives a bit easier

Liz said...

Thank you FQ. Things will be better with more light to see life a bit more clearly. x