Sunday, 27 May 2012


While Big J has been away, some things around here have changed.

The biggest change being our bedroom. It changed from lilac walls, purple curtains and a formerly white carpet covered in stains, (predominantly tea/coffe, wine, foundation, eyeliner and the odd splodge of lippy - all the girls in the house get ready to face the world in this room each morning).  It was flat and lifeless like the before shot of a model's hair in a shampoo add! And if the truth be told, and truth is always best, it was a room originally decorated by Big J's former wife. It was once a lovely room, but it has seen its share of wear and tear. We moved into this house five years ago, about two months after she had passed away of a very aggressive form of cancer. It was very hard to make changes. This was Adam's home, and our return was to be part of his life. First and formost decorating was not on the agenda. It was about settling us all down together.

It has not been easy. It is still difficult at times. But the best thing is that I have gained a wonderful 'son', because I love him as my own, and Big J gained two daughters. I still dream about a day when Big J and I are able to be the couple over the parents, but not at the cost of rushing our three through their lives.

Then Big J was away for five long months. I am always upbeat about managing on my own, about coping and being independent. But I missed him. 

I changed the bedroom to this - a space for us: it is restful and fresh and new.

Glad my man is at home again.

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